If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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