You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
