I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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