Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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