i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
