Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
