My liver just broke up with me...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
