Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
