Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
