Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
