I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
