Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
