Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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