Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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