he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
