2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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