I intend to get homeless drunk
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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