i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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