I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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