I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
