my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
