Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
