Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
