Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
