I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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