Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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