let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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