so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
