My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i've created a new STD.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
