go do what you do best...puke behind churches
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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