is your mom at the bar?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
