im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
