I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
