Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
