i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
