did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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