It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
