CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
