Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
