Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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