Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
