You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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