I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
