I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
