My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
