Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
