Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
