I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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