I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Randomize
