How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Houston, we have a squirter
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you never un-have a 4some
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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