How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
