every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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